Andrea: My personal life is falling apart.
Nigel: That's what happens when you start doing well at work. Let me know when your entire life goes up in smoke: then it's time for a promotion.
Problem is: both my personal and work life is falling apart. Does that mean I will find a $1million bill on the floor? Doubt it. It's all a connective thread. You're miserable at work, yo come home miserable. You don't feel like doing anything so you don't go out and socialize, so you eat. You eat and watch cheap novelas, you get fat. You get fat, you're out of the GAY SOCIAL LOOP! It's a trickle down effect. I'm afraid I'm a Chanel who evolved into a Bargain Bin Buyout!
I've heard it before: I'm non-confrontational and I run away from my problems. Not at all. The thing is, I don't feel the need to explain or use my energy on anger and frustrations. I would like to use that energy on something positive...like a dance floor. Or Sunday outdoor shopping!
One problem is that I always go back to bad addictions: food, bumming it, past relationships. And when those come back, I find my temporary happiness which fuels the bad part in my life. I have to say, in a whole, my personal life was a tragic roller coaster of events. Sadly, lot's of "shouldas". I mean, since I'm down and out right now, it can only get better right? I'm doing my best to patch it up: I got a new hair doo, I weeded out the "acquaintances" and kept my positive friends and friends who can make me laugh, and I started to eat less again! HURRAH! Okay about the weight, I understand...people say that I'm already skinny but today, a friend of mine put it in a way that I totally agree: "I know you're skinyn but I understand you need to be in a certain level of being skinny so I totally support you." It's true. I just need to tone up. NO MORE SUBWAY TUNA SUBS!
I suppose this venting is actually an affirmation that next year will be better.
...yeah....!!!
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