Yummy Yummy Screw: Javier Beltrán Edition.

I don't know who this guy is but he looks yummy and tropical. He has a movie coming out with ProbsGay Twilight Actor Robert Pattinson. Who cares? Let's just stare at Javier Beltrán. Yummy Yummy Screw indeed.

The Fashionable Way To Be Regina George.

Girls, you know who that is? Right?! Me either. That my friends, is Stewart Bradley, NFL Linebacker for the Philidelphia Eagles. Following the footsteps of Sean Avery (Hockey Player who interned at Men's Vogue and opened many doors for him in the world of fashion), Bradley has accepted an interning position at Elle Magazine, focusing on his fashion career during the off season. At first I thought it was a big joke but then I read his blog recently and he made a great observation that rival's The Mean Girls/Regina George method:

“Having spent a few weeks in a nearly all-female office environment, I see that criticism is delivered in subtler ways (whatever people’s impressions are of fashion editors, there is no shouting here). My favorite is what I call it the 'criticism sandwich.' You’re probably asking yourself, 'What is a criticism sandwich?' but I’m willing to bet you hand out or receive these sandwiches all the time without realizing it. The CS (for short) is best described in an example. Let’s say Jane wants to tell Sally that the presentation she’s working on needs a better introduction. If Jane used a CS she might say something like, 'Sally, I loved the conclusion of your presentation, but the introduction needs some polish. And oh, what a cool necklace! Is it antique?' The only thing that Jane wanted to convey was that the introduction sucked, but by using the CS she gets her point across with less resistance (and fewer tears) from Sally.”


Although I'm sure he meant "vintage" rather than antique, he's...hate to say it. bangable now. Where can I line up? Come on...ProbsGay! Yeah, I dated a football player before. Enough said.

Yummy Yummy Screw: Richard Gutierrez Edition

Sausage Delight, indeed!

I was having a shiteous day at work, as usual, when I see old Filipino ladies screaming and I see camera flashes. And then I realize that the "Leonardo Dicaprio of the Philippines" was in the building. Yeah, I fagged out too. After that stint, I realized that the guys in my homeland are starting to look fuckin' hot. There have been times where my gaysian friends and I would talk about the cute boys, especially this teen heart throb, Richard Gutierrez. Trust me girls, he is way cuter then that pic (I just chose it because it said "sausage delight"). I'm not really into Filipino guys but he is "yummy yummy screw-worthy". And he has a twin brother who is a ProbsGay...but less cuter.

Okay, time to go back to bed. I'm still hungover.

I'd Still Fcuk Brandon Flowers Sans Mustache.

I woke up today craving an acid trip. A few minutes later, I see this video and acid crave NO MORE. It's like the video was thought up by a 7 year-old kid playing with He-Man mixed with his little sister's toys. Whatever, I'll still do Brandon Flowers.

Yummy Yummy Screw: Real World Edition

I've always had this fascination with straight guys potentially being a homo. But then again, every gay guy has that fascination. But when you're on TV (Reality TV at that!), the cute straight guy always has a "straight potentially gay" vibe to him. I'm sure the casting directors are probably...duh...gay.

What I'm trying to say is, why am I not on the Real World? They have never had a "Gay Asian Alcoholic Bitch Semi-Retired Slut Who Acts Like A Sassy Black Woman" on the show! I am like, SEVEN Real World Stereotypes in ONE! I have auditioned for the upcoming season and hopefully, they pick me. They need to! Call Me Back!

Anyways, this season has nutty nutjobs. And I feel like they should kick out the Tranny and replace me instead. So I can totally get up on this...



Oh yeah...



Ryan is a "ProbsGay" (Probably Gay, for you heteros out there). Why do I think he's a ProbsGay? Let's take a looky loo:

1. Didn't you see that .gif of him on the stripper pole?

2. Look at his Gay Face. He needs to overcome that. Or not.



3. He kissed a Tranny.



4. Double Whammy!: He was in the military.

5. He totally watched "Top Model" in Iraq. I mean, look at his ferosh pose.



6. He likes to sing to anyone who will hear him out. He did have that homosexual serenade with Chet on that washed up outdoor boat on the first episode.



7. He totally shows his feelings on the downlow. Using his military skills, eh? Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Well...kinda.



Anyways, all the men on the show are gay.



Post-Op Duh.



Double Duh. I totally had that Reality TV crush on him until...



Yeah...Umm..."Two bottoms don't make a top, honey."



DE-NIAL! Nice Body but, HELL TO THE NO!



Flaming!



AND TACKY!

He swears he's straight. That's utter bull. One minute, you're wearing eyeliner. And next minute, you're probably gonna make yourself a ReReHat.





So please Real World, pick me to be on Season 22. I need to live my lifelong dream to be the Reality TV Bitch who gets wasted and sits on a face like this...