New York Fashion Week Is Around The Corner...

I can't wait. The best of the best is gonna be walking. Designers, choose this guy. He'll do you good. I promise.







P.S. I LOVE my new Gucci shoes. Thanks, Beb.

Falling Off The Wagon Would've Hurt, But My Fat Ass Cushioned My Fall.

GOD! I am such a Fatty Patty Boom Boom. 99% of the people I know would not think so but being a person who lost 60 lbs. in the last two years, I can tell I've put on the extra pounds over a period of 3 months. I'm just very hard on myself because I've worked all the fat out and gaining it back would be a waste of time and effort I've already put into it. So starting today, No more In-N-Outs (I shouldn't be eating that crap anyways since the company invested money for Yes on Prop 8) and more food I've prepared myself. At least I know what I'm eating AND since recession is FINALLY hitting me, I can't afford a Venti Iced Upside-Down Caramel Macchiato with an Extra Shot every other day.

I have to work harder on my excercise routine. I have to dance to "Single Ladies" twice a day now. Leotard and all.

I need to go back to my emaciated days, just in time for Haute Couture season. I just realized that I am so living the "Lindsay Lohan Life." I go through phases. One minute, I'm full figured; then ultra coked out skinny; and then go Lesbien; and now Lindsay is semi-lez and skinny all over again. I guess that's the phase I need to go through. Anyways, for short, I gotta keep my weight in control. Cause I don't wanna end up like Oprah. Or Worse...Tyra.


P.S. Although I think I look shiteous in that pic, my hair and makeup looks amazing. HAHA. And my pose. Totally smiling with my eyes. Rihanna, is dat chu?!

Even HBIC's Has Moments Of Weakness.

I always try to portray myself as the private horse-stomping ferosh in public but there are times where I can emote. In recent months, my emotions have been a rollercoaster and this Saturday it dropped from its peak. I was reminded that it was suppose to be my Grandmother's birthday, who passed away last November from her battle of Alzheimer's and Dymentia. She was one of the biggest influences in my life and molded me to who I am today. Heck, I picked up her skills with a teasing brush and AquaNet. So, in this moment of vulnerability, I want to share something I wrote for my Grandmother's funeral. Grammer was sloppy but what mattered to me was that it came from the bottom of my heart.

I Love My Ferosh Grandma.



My experience with my grandmother was truly amazing. Being raised by her, I felt like she was the woman who can do it all and do things to make other people’s lives much easier and comfortable. She was like Superman but with a cute animal print outfit on.

Some of the instances where she would make life more comfortable would be that she would walk 7 blocks to pick me up from Kindergarden and another 7 blocks carrying me back home. When we’d get home she would always say that it would pain her but she would still do it because she loves me that much. Back then, she would make my 4 cousins and I the food to our liking. She would make champurrado for one, toasted bread with butter and sugar for the other, and sliced apples with the seeds picked out for me.

I also thought my grandma was the most glamorous and upkept woman I have ever seen. She made sure every aspect in her life was beautiful and meticulous. After watching an hour of the Price is Right and Golden Girls, she would sit in front of her vanity mirror, take off her pink curlers and make sure her hair was properly coiffed, even though she’s staying at home all day. She would then go outside and tend to her garden, pruning the roses, watering the orchids, and rubbing Pledge on the big ficus plant on her front porch. Yes, I said Pledge on the leaves. She loves her plants to be shiny and full of life.

Years would gone by and she would still be the same, reliable Lola I can count on to make me a bowl of champurrado. But around the time I attended high school, I realized that she was starting to be different with her demeanor. I couldn’t bare the fact that my Supergrandma was starting to lose her memory. So during my Christmas vacation of that year, I would stay over her house in the evening just to make sure she was okay and she wasn’t walking around in the middle of the night. Over time, I accepted the fact that she was getting older and she couldn’t take care of everyone. And it dawned me that it was my turn to make her life much easier and comfortable so when she went to a nursing home, my cousins and I would visit her, sit with her for a while and try to get a quick laugh by entertaining her with our crazy family antics. My family and I would make sure she was well fed. And I truly made sure that she still looked fabulous and wore a cute mumu with matching socks.

Deep down, I know my grandmother loved every one of her grandchildren and was proud to know that all of us grew to become kind, loving, intelligent, and outstanding people. She wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’m sure that’s what she was aiming for when she took care of us, for us to be loving the way she loved us. I will ALWAYS love my lola and I will miss her till I see her again.

I Wish I Was Sasha Pivovarova.

This is why Sasha Pivovarova is my favorite model.

I'd Still Fcuk Brandon Flowers Sans Mustache.

I woke up today craving an acid trip. A few minutes later, I see this video and acid crave NO MORE. It's like the video was thought up by a 7 year-old kid playing with He-Man mixed with his little sister's toys. Whatever, I'll still do Brandon Flowers.

I Think I Found My Long Lost Gay Uncle.

We bumped into each other and was like "What The Fuck?"

Hahaha Anna Nicole. "I Want A Pickle"


P.S. My makeup looks way better!

Yummy Yummy Screw: Real World Edition

I've always had this fascination with straight guys potentially being a homo. But then again, every gay guy has that fascination. But when you're on TV (Reality TV at that!), the cute straight guy always has a "straight potentially gay" vibe to him. I'm sure the casting directors are probably...duh...gay.

What I'm trying to say is, why am I not on the Real World? They have never had a "Gay Asian Alcoholic Bitch Semi-Retired Slut Who Acts Like A Sassy Black Woman" on the show! I am like, SEVEN Real World Stereotypes in ONE! I have auditioned for the upcoming season and hopefully, they pick me. They need to! Call Me Back!

Anyways, this season has nutty nutjobs. And I feel like they should kick out the Tranny and replace me instead. So I can totally get up on this...



Oh yeah...



Ryan is a "ProbsGay" (Probably Gay, for you heteros out there). Why do I think he's a ProbsGay? Let's take a looky loo:

1. Didn't you see that .gif of him on the stripper pole?

2. Look at his Gay Face. He needs to overcome that. Or not.



3. He kissed a Tranny.



4. Double Whammy!: He was in the military.

5. He totally watched "Top Model" in Iraq. I mean, look at his ferosh pose.



6. He likes to sing to anyone who will hear him out. He did have that homosexual serenade with Chet on that washed up outdoor boat on the first episode.



7. He totally shows his feelings on the downlow. Using his military skills, eh? Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Well...kinda.



Anyways, all the men on the show are gay.



Post-Op Duh.



Double Duh. I totally had that Reality TV crush on him until...



Yeah...Umm..."Two bottoms don't make a top, honey."



DE-NIAL! Nice Body but, HELL TO THE NO!



Flaming!



AND TACKY!

He swears he's straight. That's utter bull. One minute, you're wearing eyeliner. And next minute, you're probably gonna make yourself a ReReHat.





So please Real World, pick me to be on Season 22. I need to live my lifelong dream to be the Reality TV Bitch who gets wasted and sits on a face like this...

Floral & Separates. Los Angeles, CA

It reminded me of Prada's Resort Collection '08.

Smash Into You.

Jon Mclaughlin is fuckin delish. Enjoy!

Styling Project, Thousand Oaks, CA

Yummy Yummy Screw: Milan Fashion Week Edition!

It's Men's Fashion Week in Milan and no one beats the Italians when it comes to Menswear. They always combine classic tailoring with effortless looking glamour. And every season, I always anticipate Dolce&Gabbana's shows. They're always consistent with great stage sets, musics, and of course CLOTHES! But this year really didn't anything for me and last season was lackluster also.

Maybe my views of their collection will change when they mass produce their Prêt-à-Porter. But what really got me hooked was...


Thomaz De Oliveira! Now I must say, YUMMY YUMMY SCREW!

Two Stogies & A Dapper. Pasadena, CA

Persian Apparel. Los Angeles, CA

Partying at Le Deux With 106 Girls & Lady Gaga!

Trashy! I need to barf more often.

More coming soon.

Nikki/DJ Lady Tribe Has Melted My Cold Cold Heart.

Today was my day off and I totally pigged out on some buffalo wings and watched useless reality shows. My favorite so far is "Tool Academy" and Vh1's "Rock of Love Bus With Bret Michaels". Love isn't even a strong enough word to describe my feelings for DJ Lady Tribe. Her time in the spotlight came to an end way too soon! I mean, look at her trying to lure Bret Michaels with her sexy glare and feline-like poses!

For shame, Bret Michaels. For Shame!


OH MY GOD! UPDATE:
So I was looking through her myspace and she has this WONDERFUL photo of her and Dakota Fanning which craked me up for two reasons:



1. Why the hell did Dakota Fanning agree to take a picture with her? I'm sure she was trying to teach Dakota the ways of life.

2. Being gay and a bit chola myself (I just can never put the AquaNet down), I LOVE how she TOTALLY got her look from Mira Sorvino in "Romy & Michele's High SChool Reunion" when they dressed up as Madonna for their prom.

Romy: "How do I look?"

Michele: "Oh my God, you look so good with blonde hair and dark roots, it's not even funny."

Bloods & Crips. Los Angeles, CA

Minimalism = comfort = Gangsta colors.

Mary Kate Without The Eating Disorder. Glendale. CA

First edition of my style file. This is what the blog will consist mostly of.

I Don't Care If White Men Can't Jump.

Seriously, I get attracted to weird things. Things you would never really see me getting attracted to. In this case, I think I fell in love with New York based multi-media artist and full-time "wigger", Brian Kenny. Dee-lish!

I need me a wigger. Wait, what the hell am I saying? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Ohh that's right, he's fine. So, if any of ya'll have a thug friend, tell em to call me.

Happy Motha Fuckin' New Year!

Happy New Year. One of my resolutions:

Re-enter the blog world. I have had a blog for two years starting in 2004 but then got over it during shit times in my life. This time around, it'll be more about Observation than venting. You'll see what I'm talking about in a few days or so.

So while you wait, enjoy this photo of me arriving at my aunt's house...DRUNK AS A SKUNK...and taking a photo with my nephew. What a good example I am, huh? And way to ring in the new year.

Sexy wonk eye!