Even HBIC's Has Moments Of Weakness.

I always try to portray myself as the private horse-stomping ferosh in public but there are times where I can emote. In recent months, my emotions have been a rollercoaster and this Saturday it dropped from its peak. I was reminded that it was suppose to be my Grandmother's birthday, who passed away last November from her battle of Alzheimer's and Dymentia. She was one of the biggest influences in my life and molded me to who I am today. Heck, I picked up her skills with a teasing brush and AquaNet. So, in this moment of vulnerability, I want to share something I wrote for my Grandmother's funeral. Grammer was sloppy but what mattered to me was that it came from the bottom of my heart.

I Love My Ferosh Grandma.



My experience with my grandmother was truly amazing. Being raised by her, I felt like she was the woman who can do it all and do things to make other people’s lives much easier and comfortable. She was like Superman but with a cute animal print outfit on.

Some of the instances where she would make life more comfortable would be that she would walk 7 blocks to pick me up from Kindergarden and another 7 blocks carrying me back home. When we’d get home she would always say that it would pain her but she would still do it because she loves me that much. Back then, she would make my 4 cousins and I the food to our liking. She would make champurrado for one, toasted bread with butter and sugar for the other, and sliced apples with the seeds picked out for me.

I also thought my grandma was the most glamorous and upkept woman I have ever seen. She made sure every aspect in her life was beautiful and meticulous. After watching an hour of the Price is Right and Golden Girls, she would sit in front of her vanity mirror, take off her pink curlers and make sure her hair was properly coiffed, even though she’s staying at home all day. She would then go outside and tend to her garden, pruning the roses, watering the orchids, and rubbing Pledge on the big ficus plant on her front porch. Yes, I said Pledge on the leaves. She loves her plants to be shiny and full of life.

Years would gone by and she would still be the same, reliable Lola I can count on to make me a bowl of champurrado. But around the time I attended high school, I realized that she was starting to be different with her demeanor. I couldn’t bare the fact that my Supergrandma was starting to lose her memory. So during my Christmas vacation of that year, I would stay over her house in the evening just to make sure she was okay and she wasn’t walking around in the middle of the night. Over time, I accepted the fact that she was getting older and she couldn’t take care of everyone. And it dawned me that it was my turn to make her life much easier and comfortable so when she went to a nursing home, my cousins and I would visit her, sit with her for a while and try to get a quick laugh by entertaining her with our crazy family antics. My family and I would make sure she was well fed. And I truly made sure that she still looked fabulous and wore a cute mumu with matching socks.

Deep down, I know my grandmother loved every one of her grandchildren and was proud to know that all of us grew to become kind, loving, intelligent, and outstanding people. She wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’m sure that’s what she was aiming for when she took care of us, for us to be loving the way she loved us. I will ALWAYS love my lola and I will miss her till I see her again.