I'd Still Fcuk Brandon Flowers Sans Mustache.

I woke up today craving an acid trip. A few minutes later, I see this video and acid crave NO MORE. It's like the video was thought up by a 7 year-old kid playing with He-Man mixed with his little sister's toys. Whatever, I'll still do Brandon Flowers.

I Think I Found My Long Lost Gay Uncle.

We bumped into each other and was like "What The Fuck?"

Hahaha Anna Nicole. "I Want A Pickle"


P.S. My makeup looks way better!

Yummy Yummy Screw: Real World Edition

I've always had this fascination with straight guys potentially being a homo. But then again, every gay guy has that fascination. But when you're on TV (Reality TV at that!), the cute straight guy always has a "straight potentially gay" vibe to him. I'm sure the casting directors are probably...duh...gay.

What I'm trying to say is, why am I not on the Real World? They have never had a "Gay Asian Alcoholic Bitch Semi-Retired Slut Who Acts Like A Sassy Black Woman" on the show! I am like, SEVEN Real World Stereotypes in ONE! I have auditioned for the upcoming season and hopefully, they pick me. They need to! Call Me Back!

Anyways, this season has nutty nutjobs. And I feel like they should kick out the Tranny and replace me instead. So I can totally get up on this...



Oh yeah...



Ryan is a "ProbsGay" (Probably Gay, for you heteros out there). Why do I think he's a ProbsGay? Let's take a looky loo:

1. Didn't you see that .gif of him on the stripper pole?

2. Look at his Gay Face. He needs to overcome that. Or not.



3. He kissed a Tranny.



4. Double Whammy!: He was in the military.

5. He totally watched "Top Model" in Iraq. I mean, look at his ferosh pose.



6. He likes to sing to anyone who will hear him out. He did have that homosexual serenade with Chet on that washed up outdoor boat on the first episode.



7. He totally shows his feelings on the downlow. Using his military skills, eh? Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Well...kinda.



Anyways, all the men on the show are gay.



Post-Op Duh.



Double Duh. I totally had that Reality TV crush on him until...



Yeah...Umm..."Two bottoms don't make a top, honey."



DE-NIAL! Nice Body but, HELL TO THE NO!



Flaming!



AND TACKY!

He swears he's straight. That's utter bull. One minute, you're wearing eyeliner. And next minute, you're probably gonna make yourself a ReReHat.





So please Real World, pick me to be on Season 22. I need to live my lifelong dream to be the Reality TV Bitch who gets wasted and sits on a face like this...

Floral & Separates. Los Angeles, CA

It reminded me of Prada's Resort Collection '08.

Smash Into You.

Jon Mclaughlin is fuckin delish. Enjoy!

Styling Project, Thousand Oaks, CA

Yummy Yummy Screw: Milan Fashion Week Edition!

It's Men's Fashion Week in Milan and no one beats the Italians when it comes to Menswear. They always combine classic tailoring with effortless looking glamour. And every season, I always anticipate Dolce&Gabbana's shows. They're always consistent with great stage sets, musics, and of course CLOTHES! But this year really didn't anything for me and last season was lackluster also.

Maybe my views of their collection will change when they mass produce their Prêt-à-Porter. But what really got me hooked was...


Thomaz De Oliveira! Now I must say, YUMMY YUMMY SCREW!

Two Stogies & A Dapper. Pasadena, CA

Persian Apparel. Los Angeles, CA

Partying at Le Deux With 106 Girls & Lady Gaga!

Trashy! I need to barf more often.

More coming soon.

Nikki/DJ Lady Tribe Has Melted My Cold Cold Heart.

Today was my day off and I totally pigged out on some buffalo wings and watched useless reality shows. My favorite so far is "Tool Academy" and Vh1's "Rock of Love Bus With Bret Michaels". Love isn't even a strong enough word to describe my feelings for DJ Lady Tribe. Her time in the spotlight came to an end way too soon! I mean, look at her trying to lure Bret Michaels with her sexy glare and feline-like poses!

For shame, Bret Michaels. For Shame!


OH MY GOD! UPDATE:
So I was looking through her myspace and she has this WONDERFUL photo of her and Dakota Fanning which craked me up for two reasons:



1. Why the hell did Dakota Fanning agree to take a picture with her? I'm sure she was trying to teach Dakota the ways of life.

2. Being gay and a bit chola myself (I just can never put the AquaNet down), I LOVE how she TOTALLY got her look from Mira Sorvino in "Romy & Michele's High SChool Reunion" when they dressed up as Madonna for their prom.

Romy: "How do I look?"

Michele: "Oh my God, you look so good with blonde hair and dark roots, it's not even funny."

Bloods & Crips. Los Angeles, CA

Minimalism = comfort = Gangsta colors.

Mary Kate Without The Eating Disorder. Glendale. CA

First edition of my style file. This is what the blog will consist mostly of.

I Don't Care If White Men Can't Jump.

Seriously, I get attracted to weird things. Things you would never really see me getting attracted to. In this case, I think I fell in love with New York based multi-media artist and full-time "wigger", Brian Kenny. Dee-lish!

I need me a wigger. Wait, what the hell am I saying? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Ohh that's right, he's fine. So, if any of ya'll have a thug friend, tell em to call me.

Happy Motha Fuckin' New Year!

Happy New Year. One of my resolutions:

Re-enter the blog world. I have had a blog for two years starting in 2004 but then got over it during shit times in my life. This time around, it'll be more about Observation than venting. You'll see what I'm talking about in a few days or so.

So while you wait, enjoy this photo of me arriving at my aunt's house...DRUNK AS A SKUNK...and taking a photo with my nephew. What a good example I am, huh? And way to ring in the new year.

Sexy wonk eye!