I was at work a few days ago and I see an issue of Paper Magazine in our breakroom. I am very fond of the magazine and Mickey Boardman's pieces. I was reading his column "Ask Mr. Mickey" where he puts his input on questions gay men like me would ask. I came up on this question...
DEAR MR. MICKEY, I'm not the wildest of sorts, but that's not to say I can't throw back a couple of wu wu's and a Jägerbomb every hour on the hour. I currently hold a job with reasonable hours and on average go out, let's say...four nights a week? Truth is, I'm bordering on what the kids might refer to as being "burnt out". I'm tired of running on low energy but don't really have the time for total relaxation and revitalization. I was wondering if you had any suggestions (i.e. diet or beverage changes, disco naps, etc.) about how to stay energized while at the same time seizing the night and all of her ambrosial offerings. --Frankly Fagged
Dear Frankly F'd You're like the club whore equivalent of a working mother juggling responsibilities, and sometimes you just can't have it all. Yes, it's fun to run the streets and pull your dress up over your head in every dive bar in town, but there's only so much of that a girl can take and still show up fresh-faced at her desk at 9 a.m. It's important that you do a good job and make you boss love you, regardless of how often you go out, because if you get shit-canned who's going to pay for your drinks and recreational pharmaceuticals? The best plan is a preventative attack. Pick and choose the parties you go to. Don't be the girl who'll go to any party or any dumpy dive and stay till closing time. Pop out for one little drink but save the big blowouts for the fabulous parties. Or pop out for a soda pop, because if you don't guzzle booze, you'll feel better in the morning. MM isn't saying you should drink Ovaltine while you're partying backstage with the Stones, but if you're just hanging around your local bar with your friends, there's no need to get blitzed. That way you'll be fresh and rested when the real wild nights happen. Although from the sounds of your question, you're a serious alcoholic and you might want to check yourself into rehab immediately.
Holy shit. I think I wrote that question when I was drunk because that sounded like me! Oh sad. And I'm writing this after coming home from an afternoon mimosa session with a good friend. That did put some perspective in my life. I really do need to choose my battles. Lay off the hard liquor for the good events. Sadly, there's a real good event tonight. Oh well....
Every supermodel has a signature look and pose. Tyra has the over the shoulder. Kate has the hungry coke face. I guess you can say I adopted those two looks and fused them together. I have the coked out over the shoulder drunk face. Just look at me exude fierce eyes sex appeal while modeling a jug of Tampico with Vaaka Vodka. Yummy.
I am SO Lindsay Lohan. Where are my black leggings?!
Move out of the way, bitches. I got to show off my Maison Martin Margiela jacket. Shoulderpads!
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who greeted me, called, texted, showed up to the bar, etc. You guys are amazing. When I woke up, I was really dreading being 23 until my Grandma called and gave me some spiritual words of wisdom. After that, it made me realize that I'm still young and I can do anything. And after THAT, I walked around town and threw my berét in the air a la Mary Tyler. Kidding.
I have a deeper appreciation in life. Although it's been rocky, I had a heart to heart with the guy of my dreams. It was really needed. I also got to hang out with mi familia and my mom cooked my favorite dish. Then it took me 3 fuckin' hours to get ready to dance my ass off. I had to rework on my hair a few times because it kept looking trashé. Everyone who's important in my life showed up. And we danced the whole night away.
By the end of the night, a friend and I went to her apartment and had some more heart to heart. Prior to that, she fought with the clerk at 7-11 over a bottle of champagne. We also boozed till 5am, watched 80's video on YouTube, and practiced our runway all night. I truly adore our friendship. Especially because she is as fierce as Iris Chacon. Now that is how you do a fab B'Day.
Don't worry folks, Rihanna is okay. Just look at her smile with her eyes! She's totally singing "Take A Bow"
Anyways, it has been brought to my attention that people want me to comment on Rihanna and Chris Brown's "Ike & Tina" story. All I gotta say is, No one fucks with my Princess RiRi. And we all know that she totally has new material to sing about. And make a club remix to. Werq it Rihanna!
For this past week, I've been wearing (More than usual) black outfits just for Rihanna. Clearly, today was my "Take A Bow" outfit. Tomorrow is my "Disturbia" outfit. I'm totally gonna wear my feathered headress and Balenciaga gladiator heels for my meeting with my styling client. Ferosh, no?! I'm totally stressed busting my second job (well, more like my side project for now. pro bono work is so fun right?). Who knew shopping for clothes and fitting them on sexy gorgeous men was such hard work! And all those insurance papers to fill out just to borrow expensive shit?! Aye. I guess it's worth it. I'm one step closer to building my styling portfolio and reaching for my career goal. Although I'm on the bottom of the "stylist totem pole", it doesn't mean I have to look haggard. I'm totally bustin' my balls in my cute Dior Homme shirt, Gucci suede loafers and Givenchy necklace (and no, they don't have the logo on the clothes. Try to be minimal with that, Mmkay?).
By the way, Big Props to Jaime Fabuleux and the team of Sephora Costa Mesa for Loving it, Living it, Werqing it, Owning it, and especially Loving ME! That reminds me, I need some fuckin Dior DiorShow Mascara in color 090 or 698. Get one for me, you haute sluts.
Today was my day off and I totally pigged out on some buffalo wings and watched useless reality shows. My favorite so far is "Tool Academy" and Vh1's "Rock of Love Bus With Bret Michaels". Love isn't even a strong enough word to describe my feelings for DJ Lady Tribe. Her time in the spotlight came to an end way too soon! I mean, look at her trying to lure Bret Michaels with her sexy glare and feline-like poses!
For shame, Bret Michaels. For Shame!
OH MY GOD! UPDATE: So I was looking through her myspace and she has this WONDERFUL photo of her and Dakota Fanning which craked me up for two reasons:
1. Why the hell did Dakota Fanning agree to take a picture with her? I'm sure she was trying to teach Dakota the ways of life.
2. Being gay and a bit chola myself (I just can never put the AquaNet down), I LOVE how she TOTALLY got her look from Mira Sorvino in "Romy & Michele's High SChool Reunion" when they dressed up as Madonna for their prom.
Romy: "How do I look?"
Michele: "Oh my God, you look so good with blonde hair and dark roots, it's not even funny."
Re-enter the blog world. I have had a blog for two years starting in 2004 but then got over it during shit times in my life. This time around, it'll be more about Observation than venting. You'll see what I'm talking about in a few days or so.
So while you wait, enjoy this photo of me arriving at my aunt's house...DRUNK AS A SKUNK...and taking a photo with my nephew. What a good example I am, huh? And way to ring in the new year.
This blog consist of semi-pessemistic, politically incorrect and fully fierce comments posted by one Fabuleux, Runway-stomping, Couture wearing Gaysian.
No, I'm not Bobby Trendy. He wishes.
Anyways this blog is used to talk about anything important in my life. I also post photos of fabuleux strangers in L.A. that posseses great style in a crappy-aesthetic city.
